Recognizing the Patterns of Fear

June 20, 2016

Yesterday we were at the pool enjoying the final day of spring. As my daughter and I were hanging out with my Fiancé and her nephew in the shallow end – which was about 3.5 feet deep – we began to take turns jumping in.

When it came time for my daughter to jump in, we began to count down, and I could see she was scared. Her lips quivering and knees shaking. When the countdown hit 0, she bent her knees to jump in and froze in fear.

As I thought about that moment, I began to ponder if there are areas in my life that fear grabs a hold of me and I freeze up. I’ve come to learn that as an adult, my knees may not shake and adrenaline may not pulse through my body, but fear can cause me to lock up in other, subtler ways.

For example, when we launched the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I told my good friend that I wanted to get back into writing. It is something I’ve done before on a regular basis, but in my head I told myself I was too busy. If I wasn’t busy, I was too tired and opted for a few FIFA matches on Xbox before bed.

In retrospect, I wasn’t really tired or busy, I was just fearful of putting myself out to the world again as a writer. I even deleted my old blog which documented many of my personal challenges and what I’ve learned from them, because I was fearful of what people would think – even though people would message me to say how much the posts had helped them in their own lives.

To me, that is the most dangerous kind of fear, this is the kind of fear that will hold you back from reaching your full potential. It may not smack you in the face, but it whispers in your ear like a light summer breeze, lulling you to sleep, and before you know it, what you intended to accomplish is nothing more than a “I wish I would have done…”
As creatives, we must be aware of this. Yes, sometimes we do need to take a break to go for a walk or listen to music to catch a new wave of inspiration, but we also must learn when we need to fight through feelings of apathy or an uninspired state to create something great.

As we progress on this podcast journey, I will bring this concept up with the people I speak to along with exploring this concept through my writing. In the meantime, ask yourself if there is an area in your life that you are using as an excuse that is really fear disguising itself.

Something I say often is that we are only here once – there are no do overs. Which is really more important, living the kind of live you want to live or Netflix & chill?

And to answer your question, my daughter did eventually jump in, with the help of daddy’s hand. 🙂

Onward.

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